Art Cla$$e$

I hate art classes for some reason. I think the only thing I might have ever gotten out of them is dispensable knowledge and the opportunity to best somebody at something. I suppose that now that my view of art has been somewhat warped over the years dealing with whether I really loved it or if I wanted to be rich and famous.

I still can't be certain. Everybody wants to be recognized for something and many people want to do new things to entertain others that they also enjoy. I suppose what everybody wants if nothing else is to find their spot in the world.

How the hell will I ever know if my reason is the right reason? Anyway, I have always, since Elementary, had this thing about arriving at results in my own particular way, even if it wasn't my particular style. There were ways I was taught how to use crayons, chalk, etc, but I always used them in a way I felt was logical for the medium. Most of the time it turned out good. Often the best out of everybody's.

It's kind of the same now. I still hate art classes and I still don't like the teachers methods alot of the time. Without making everything philosophical or representative, I'll talk about now, in my real drawing class. I'm having problems understanding how the teacher wants us to use charcoal and why. I think pencil would achieve the results she is trying to achieve much easier than trying to make charcoal perform with lights and darks. Too much blending and erasing. I'm used to building up and correcting with graphite.

To my credit, I've grown somewhat emotionally from my youth and I realize that there is something to be learned. Something that I might have known before. I really am trying, but it's frustrating feeling uncomfortable doing things I feel like I should know how to do. Like a basketball player who has nice handles, but realizes in college he needs to work on his defense and his jump shot.